In a quiet neighborhood in the suburbs of Minnesota, a man has been watching with keen interest, the latest virtual reality boom. Companies like Oculus, Htc, Valve, Samsung and Sony have invested millions in Virtual Reality or V.R in the hopes that their technology will lead them towards untold riches. John Delaney, from Minnesota, while not as wealthy as these other companies, is taking an even bigger risk.
“I’ve been watching all these companies venture into V.R for a while now and I’ve been disappointed that NOT ONE of them has had the vision to tap into what could be a very lucrative market, myself and a lot of regular visitors to my website itsscattobeperfect.com have been waiting for it, but it just hasn’t happened.”
“Growing up with movies like Lawnmower Man and The Matrix, they really kickstarted my interest in V.R from a young age. Then when I discovered I was into scat things changed. Sure in V.R I could have my own private movie theater to watch scat flicks with my buddy Winston but it wasn’t enough. All I could thing about since Palmer Luckey started his Kickstarter for the Oculus Rift, was shitting on people in V.R.I can’t wait any longer for other companies to provide this experience I just can’t hold it any longer”, he told me, his stomach groaning and sweat beginning to gather on his forehead.
“So I remortgaged the house and me and my buddy Winston started our own business creating V.R experiences where you can poop on people. Everybody has got different people they’d like to take a dump on and only God can judge so I’ve been creating models of a lot of different people for our customers. Our most commonly requested is Donald Trump, but I personally can’t wait to take a virtual dump on my neighbor Mr. Stevens pet dog Rosco, he’s a little asshole.”
When I inquired about what they’ve got lined up for people who prefer the other side of the brown coin, people who wish to be defecated on, John broke out into a big shit eating grin. “We got something really special in the pipeline for them, I can’t give away too much but I can tell you that we’re working with a hardware manufacturer right now to develop our very own H.M.D (head mounted display) and it will be called “The Scat In The Hat”. We’re very excited about it. We’ve had interest from lots of big names, companies that have been shitting on their customers for quite a while”. Although he refused to confirm, it’s been heavily rumored John has met with Sixense on more than one occasion.
Before I left Johns home I asked him where he saw his company in 3 years. “I really think we’ve got a great shot at cracking the V.R scat market. The Scat In The Hat is going to be able to create many different types of poo, on the fly, within the H.M.D itself. Based on some early tests, poop is an absolutely huge presence multiplier. Winston tried one of our earliest tech demos and he was so immersed he literally thought Barack Obama pooped on him from a balcony in the white house. I have complete faith in our product”.
virtuallyvrnews.com 